Wednesday, November 28, 2012


I'm thankful.

And I'm thankful for a lot of things.

You might not think so at first glance, but there is more to this story than the first page. 

This year, I spent Wednesday night, Thanksgiving, the following Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday in the hospital. A good portion of that (including Thanksgiving day itself) I was ravaged with fevers that were besting 102.5 all too regularly. The spikes were accompanied by body aches, mind-warping headaches, shivers, and nausea.

Aside from a few visits, I was without access to my family for most of the stay. Part of the issue a matter of scheduling, partly a matter of there were times where I just wasn't fit to have guests.

I was supposed to cook the Turkey this year, and had prepped a ten pound bird in an apple cider, lemon juice, and cinnamon marinade. That obviously wasn't happening.

I spent three of the four days completely unsure if I would even make it out of the hospital in time for work on Monday, (sick time aside, I take pride in my work, and letting cases go untouched is a hassle for others when someone isn't there).

There were times where the pain and the body aches were so bad that I just wanted to curl up and cry.

And there were times where I was so frustrated with all of the unanswered questions, and I was seething mad, and without anyone or anything to point my anger at.

But I am still thankful.

I'm thankful for every nurse and nurses aid who tended to me day in and day out.
I'm thankful for the doctors who answered pages and phone calls, day and night, as my situation developed.
I'm thankful for the Technician who was called at 1 in the morning, Thanksgiving day, to scan my leg and try and size up the mess I was in.

I'm grateful that even though I wasn't there, my family and my visiting parents were able to have Thanksgiving together with my in-laws, and that my son was able to spend outrageous amounts of time being spoiled rotten by my father.

I'm thankful that my mother was able to cook the turkey per my instructions  including making a cider/turkey drippings gravy that was a smash hit. 

Despite how little I did see them, my family was there for me, supporting me when I needed it, even from afar. 

I'm grateful because I survived cancer, and even though the scar tissue of that even will change my life forever, so too has the exposure to some of the most remarkable people I have ever met.

I could be mad, and there are a few things that I am rightfully upset about.

But in the end, I choose to be thankful, but I have been given more than has been taken from me by far.